Nightlife at Woodhill

From the outside, all I saw was a line that extended around the corner, and my goodness what a line it was. It was though the god of fashion (who would that be, Aphrodite right? I mean, a reasonable facsimile of sorts, but to the same end, I’m sure the goddess of love would care what she looked like) had descended upon Pretoria on this particular Saturday night and was doing her utmost to make sure that everyone who attended Tiger Tiger looked beyond 99 – percent I mean, not years. Although if a group of 99 year old’s threw a party, I would go, I have a feeling that people who spent their teenage years in the 1920’s and 30’s know how to get down. Guys in suits that would make Mr. Armani weep, girls in dresses that would make their parents question every decision they ever made in raising their daughters, yet everyone still classy enough that they could’ve attended a royal ball and looked better than the bride herself – as did Pippa to Kate, I’m still not sure how the world didn’t pick up on that. Red lighting gently spilling form the clubs entrance, cascading across the marble tile, as the synths that came from within spoke of a party that was certainly not to be missed – hence the line that went around the corner, the one I was now a part of, having jumped out of a moving car in ditching my friends who were contemplating driving around the parking lot one more time to see if we couldn’t find a better space – I mean come, on, would you rather spend you night in a car or in a club – and if you’re answer is the former of the two option, then I’m sorry, you seem really nice, but we can’t be friends.

Tiger Tiger, you see, is more than just “some club”. No, good people of the east, besides being a stone’s throw away from the Properties For Sale in Woodhill Estate – extremely convenient when needing to a dancefloor in a hurry, the feeling can strike at any time. Most recently in aisle 8 at Spar, (I was listening to Skrillex so what do you expect) – is the class and quality that is to be found within its walls, not soon to be outdone, and it’s quite easy to understand why. What with the themed parties – everything from Copa Cabana to Moulin Rouge – shows for the guys, performances for the ladies, a multitude of bars, excellent seating areas both inside and outside of the club and a dancefloor upon which Elvis himself would cry for sheer joy, Tiger Tiger is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to having a good night out. And what would you expect from a club that forms part of the amenities at Woodhill?

Yet it cannot be assumed that all people like the same music, have the same taste in DJ’s and look for the same – and I can’t believe I’m going to use this word, having sworn it off for all eternity – “vibe”, because how boring would that be? Fear not, people of the night, for every taste is met when one is privy to the luxuries that await should you choose to make the eastern shores of the capital your home. Arcade Empire is one such place where up and coming bands and musical acts may test out their talents before the crowd is blown away by such acts and Das Kapital,, PH Phat and international sensation Jeremy Loops. The dress code is crazy (I’m not taking the Mickey, there’s actually a sign that says that on your way in), the atmosphere electrifying (okay there’s no sign for that, but you’ll notice when your hairs start standing on end, usually waving in time with the sounds oozing from the ceiling mounted speakers) and the company is magnificent. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that wasn’t smiling from ear to ear when attending the ridiculous reunion of weekend and ecstasy – the feeling, not the drug, my teachers got that right at least.

Loud music not quite your scene? Perhaps you’d actually like to hear the person you’re talking to as opposed to guessing at their every word through a pitiful attempt at mission impossible style lip reading – (my god Ethan Hunt was on point with that wasn’t he)? Well then Lucky Roderigo’s is the place to be. Tucked away in the cosiest of corners to be found in the east, the food is good, the drinks are better and you’ll be able to hear every word that passes her lips as you stare into her eyes and imagine a life together…ahem , not that it happened to me like that, I totally played it cool, I was all like, “yo…” I’m going to stop, this particular lie isn’t going anywhere.

As for the safety of your vehicle – and I mention this only because the concern for your ride may draw you away from starting at her long, luxurious hair (again, completely different from how it happened to me…kind of…) – off street parking is provided free of charge at all three aforementioned venues. And I don’t mean off-street where you’re off the street but still in the road because it’s technically legal, I mean off-street with the kind of safety to rival the security at Woodhill itself

So, I’ll meet you at Tiger in Ten? Yeah, you know I will.

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