So about last night. The parts I remember anyway, thank the gods I had my friends around me to keep me from doing something that might end me up in jail – or worse, on YouTube. Needless to say I painted the town red, and I did so in the most spectacular fashion, given that the very best in Pretoria’s premium nightlife spots are just around the corner when living in the eastern suburbs of the capital city. You see, one of the beautiful things about going out – anytime I go out – is that that I don’t have to psych myself up for an hour long drive, where that by the time I get to where I want to go, I’m so pooped from the commute, the traffic, the bad driving and the road rage that I may just end up falling asleep on those gorgeous leather couches characteristic of Menlyn Square’s Cubana, too tired to entertain the advances of the beautiful brunette that keeps trying to catch my attention (sadly, that’s happened on more than one occasion). Fortunately, ever since I decided to started repping the east side (and yes, I understand that was a line worthy the average New York gangster), the trips to paradise – for there aren’t many ways to accurately describe what awaits, the nights to be had, strewn with surprises unknown – themselves have been the absolute least of my worries a mere 15 minute drive from entrance to entrance - let the games begin.
The astounding thing is, within the context of the east, I still live relatively far away. For if you were to call home to any of the properties in The Wilds, you’d literally be minutes from the spotless dancefloors and Caribbean feel that Cubana exudes. Even excluding the fire breathers (no you didn’t misread – yes, they breathe fire), there’d be no escaping the ultimate adrenalin rush when the in-house DJ’s drops your favourite track, the bass doing incredible things to your heart beat, the dim lighting and bright torches providing an ambience reminiscent of Copa Cabana...it’s not at all strange that I feel like going out tonight. Actually scratch that, I am going out tonight me give me a second to change my plans, the amenities at The Wilds in being the greatest of night clubs have got me all hyped up (yes, again)
The great thing about Menlyn square, besides the potent proximity to The Wilds itself, is the amount of choice that you have in terms of where to end up once you walk into this particular quadrangle of wonder. Oh, I’m sorry, you thought there was but one turn-up club in which to get down? Well you thought wrong! - I’m not shouting at you, I’m just excited. Directly adjacent to Cubana – and when I say adjacent, I mean the way my screen is adjacent to my keyboard – is TY’s nightclub, and for those of you that don’t know, good lord you’re certainly in for the evening of a lifetime. I’m pretty sure last time I was there I met Toya de Lazy while Crazy White Boy performed and the resident DJ’s gave out free champagne to all that would have it - catching you attention now aren’t I? With a newly constructed outdoor deck section and hubbly bar, as though to meld the tastes of the exotic Middle East with the modern African South, TY’s does the utmost is ensuring that its clientele has the time of their lives, putting good times far ahead of profit in a dazzling display of what every weekend night should look like.
Side note, one of the gorgeous things about TY’s is that they have gone the extra mile in terms of ensuring that the sound quality of the music is of the highest standard, perfectly balanced speakers, and compressors upon each monitor means that distortion is avoided in every way when dropping the bass – a previous student of music, this is something that myself and all of my classmates really appreciated.
Another side note (at what point to they start becoming the focal point of my essay?) – I certainly understand you concern in terms of the security of your vehicle, for there is nothing that ruins a night more than the constant worry attached to the safety of your ride. Worry not, for the security provided at each one of the top notch facilities where work is play is of such a high standard that it could be compared to the security at The Wilds itself.
Did you think I was done? I’m disappointed in your lack of faith of the eastern reaches of Pretoria to surprise you at every turn. Not 900 metres away from the aforementioned jewels of life after dark, is none other than Tiger Tiger itself – and with venues across the country, you can be sure to expect nothing but the very best in terms of service, music and a night to remember. What with everyone doing their utmost – and very definitely succeeding may I add – at looking their best, this is THE place to be if getting noticed while getting down plays into your wheel house. Themed parties are a forte of Tiger Tiger, the prestigious club playing host to everything from beach parties to masked balls, the only constant being the level of enjoyment that those who frequent the carpeted floors experience from entry to escape.
As for that level? Yes, it’s very definitely through the roof.